Last night I dreamt the following.


I’m being chased by two bears–one brown bear and one polar bear. They get distracted by a buck. Specifically, they get distracted by the need to kill it and tear it apart. I take out my phone and try to record the spectacle on video.


I’m eating a bowl of food. Not sure what it was. Possibly salad or rice. I go to take a bite and realize there’s a large dark green frog in my bowl.

Foreign Policy

I’m walking around in a foreign country–possibly Eastern Europe. Some dude criticizes my hair (which is indeed deserving of criticism, if not quarantine) and then asks what happened to my skin, drawing attention to the fact that my hands are red and dry. I politely respond to his inquiry with the utmost respect and diplomacy…by punching him in the face twice. His friend tries to punch me, but I wake up to the sound of thunder. Ha! Suckers!

I sit up and glance at my hair in the mirror. I run my dry red fingers through it. What a nightmare.