I’ve started listing some of my more valuable items on Craigslist. Everything else will be garage saled this weekend.
It’s amusing to observe some of the thoughts I’ve had during this great sell-off. For example, I’m selling my office chair–a Herman Miller Embody–for $800. It’s too big to fit in my car, so whoever buys it will have to show up at my home with 800 bucks cash. Naturally, fear immediately sets in and I begin to suspect that there’s probably a serial killer out there, browsing high-end office furniture on Craigslist…searching for his/her/its next victim.
As if that’s not ridiculous enough, I actually find myself analyzing each response to the listing, trying to profile each respondent on a scale of 1 to serial killer. And mind you, I have no idea whether or not serial killers tend to write a certain way. As far as I know, Craigslist’s email system doesn’t provide an option to contact seller via magazine clippings. So how is my fearful little mind judging these poor chairless people?
Well, for starters, I wanna see some punctuation in there…but not like…too much punctuation. And don’t be droppin’ any fancy characters on me either. Semicolon? Seriously? That’s clearly symbolic of a bullet hole dripping blood. Fuck that psycho; they can stand at their desk for all I care!