Me in my head:

You know…this whole “War on Terrorism” thing is total bullshit. Obviously the US is creating terrorists and using the issue to distract the public from seeing what’s really going on. It’s all about control–control the masses, control the resources, control other countries. It’s kinda sad when you think about it. Underneath the power struggle and greed, it’s just fear. The people involved are simply projecting their own fears out into the world. It’s just one more example of artificial separation and “us versus them” thinking. But humans are humans…there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Me in real life:

Okay, time to prepare for tomorrow’s garage sale. It starts at 8:00 am, but you know those damn early birds are gonna start creepin’ up on you while you’re still setting up. And who knows what their intentions are. Probably gonna steal all your shit when you’re not looking. It’s you versus the early birds. The first thing we’re gonna need is borders. That’s right…we need something to enforce physical separation. We have to control these freaks. Without order, there will be chaos! What if they bring weapons? You need weapons too. Where’s the shotgun…just in case? You pawned it!? Better start stock-piling rocks…